Curb Impostorism By Learning to F.L.O.A.T Your Feelings

Fear of failure and fear of success are the most common signs of impostorism. However, the word itself, IMPOSTER, is alarming. In my first blog post, I discuss impostorism and a new technique to managing it to help me show up as my best self.

The mantra of faking it until you make it is engraved in my DNA. I've never considered the possibility of how that can be both negative and positive until COVID-19. Over the last 20 months, many of us have had a front-row seat to the pandemic's impacts. The word pivot has been used in more ways than any of us could ever imagine. While the world and everyone made the necessary PIVOTS, I've spent the last 20 months measuring myself against others, feeling less competent, and awaiting my inevitable failure. If you are not familiar with the term impostor syndrome, I invite you to do a quick google search or keep reading.

Am I an Impostor or NAH ?

“Do you fear living up to expectations? Self-doubter? Overachieving? Unable to realistically assess your competence and skills?"

According to verywellmind, Impostor Syndrome (IS), also referred to as impostorism, is an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. It can affect anyone no matter their social status, work background, skill level, or degree of expertise. Do you identify with the signs above? I did, and after overthinking how much I aligned with the typical symptoms, I'm ready to socially distance myself... ALL PUN intended! I think my Imposter Syndrome was established back in school, specifically on picture day, the year may have been1988. But I'll tell you that story some other time.

So, how can I curb and overcome a pattern of negative thinking? Am I even capable of un-feeling my feelings?

Now, that I've arrived. Who else is here?

A woman who I declare as the coolest was quoted saying:

"It never goes away," (Imposter Syndrome). "It's sort of like 'you're actually listening to me?' It doesn't go away, that feeling of 'I don't know if the world should take me seriously; I'm just Michelle Robinson, that little girl on the south side who went to public school."

- Michelle Obama

Starting a new project at work, being the only minority in the room, going to the gym, pitching an idea for a book- or starting a new blog, is usually when "Impostor" visits me. That fear of not being good enough, the self-doubt, I can't recall how many times I've felt it. I just didn't call it by its name. Knowing that it can affect anyone, here I sit thinking, I'm way less special (kidding). But, I suppose if we genuinely sat and thought about it, we could all count the number of times we spoken with friends who unconsciously admitted to having Imposter Syndrome or showed all the signs. So, I find comfort in the fact that I'm not the only one. I also question how I handled and or how I've given advice to someone dealing with it.

Knowing me. My response was, "you'll be fine." And while that may be true, unquestionably more is required..

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I Should Learn to F.L.O.A.T. Yep, that's MY CURE!

“Filter, Lead , Organize, Acknowledge, and Thank”

All the feelings and questions are internal, and I guess we should be thankful for that. Can you imagine "Impostor" being an actual person? Depending on who's doorstep "Impostor" arrives on, it could make for good T.V. I grew up in the 80's so I've seen some of the greatest catfights ever filmed. Dynasty anyone? Dominique Deveraux vs. Alexis Carrington. If you know, you know! Since I can't technically slap myself out of anything, learning to F.L.O.A.T. might be the next best option to curb my feelings of impostorism. Although I haven't outright said it, impostorism can be so damaging. At least all of my internal feelings and questions about myself and my abilities have been. So to help me resist urges of negative self-talk, convincing myself that I'll fail before trying, and not feeling enough requires me to have a positive mindset. I'll tell you right now, this is going to a challenge. So, to put this into practice, I've developed a technique called F.L.O.A.T. Before explaining what F.L.O.A.T. is. It's necessary to bring something to your attention. There's a difference between our EMOTIONS and our FEELINGS. Did you know that? as of this post, I didn't. Folks, you're welcome. We can proudly say, I'm not emotional, I'm Feeling - not in my feelings because that isn't a thing. But, I digress, back to the F.L.O.A.T. technique. Overcoming my imposter syndrome F.L.O.A.T. will require me to do five things:

1. F - Filter My Emotions

Our thoughts can trigger many emotions and our responses. According to The Atlas of Emotion, emotions are categorized as anger, fear, sadness, disgust, and enjoyment. Therefore, filtering my emotions will help me recognize my thought patterns.

2. L - Lead My Thoughts

The mind is one of the most powerful tools ever to be created. Leading my thoughts will be easier said than done. To guide my thoughts positively, I will make a conscious effort to shift self-judgment and replace it with positive affirmations.

3. O - Organize My Feelings

Our feelings are caused by our emotions and can be influenced by our personal experiences, beliefs, and memories. Therefore, as I filter my emotions, organizing my thoughts through journaling will be essential to identify the triggers and patterns.

4. A - Acknowledge My Feelings

Okay, hear me out. I'm a runner, not like a sprinter, but I avoid the hell of acknowledging how I feel most days. Now, I have zero intentions of rolling out the red carpet for "Impostor," like NONE. But learning to acknowledge and validate my feelings is so important to me.

5. T - Thank Myself for Where I Am

How often do we find joy in how far we've come, personally? Professionally even? Instead of waiting for an employer, family, or friends to celebrate my wins, big or small, I've decided to consciously celebrate my successes and focus on my strengths to pursue my goals and dreams. Writing this blog has been a long-standing goal. The roadblock had always been, "Imposter" saying, "but who's going to read it?" I don't know, honestly, but I can count on at least three people.

Well Then. Ready, Set, Let's F.L.O.A.T

Impostorism trapped me and limited me for longer than I care to remember. Not being smart enough, good enough, or perfect is the negative self-talk fueling my self-doubt. It has robbed me of opportunities well before trying. A supervisor once told me, "Well, you've got the job." "You can either sink or swim." Let's say, if the job was an Olympic pool, I was Michael Phelps. I want the confidence of that woman again. I hope my F.LO.A.T. technique helps me evolve and curb my impostor syndrome. Maybe even inspire others to re-thing unhealthy thinking. I'm excited about Creatively S.H.E., what better time to F.L.O.A.T than with birth of a new project. Wish me luck!. See ya on the next post.